Ask Yourself A Better Question
What If the Questions You Ask Yourself Could Change Everything?
What if, in the middle of a stuck moment, you asked yourself a different question? Not the same old loop, but one that pointed you somewhere new.
The quality of your life is often determined by the quality of the questions you ask. Neuroscience shows us that your brain is wired to search for answers to whatever questions you ask it. It’s like a built-in search engine: whatever you ask, it will scan your memories, beliefs, and imagination to come up with an answer. The trouble is, most of us have been asking questions that close us down rather than open us up.
The Trap of Disempowering Questions
Why is this happening to me?
Why am I always unlucky?
Why don’t things ever work out?
How can I just scrape by?
Questions like these lock you into a story of limitation. They make you the victim in the narrative—the one with no control, reacting rather than creating. They also send your brain hunting for evidence that confirms that you’re powerless, unlucky, or stuck.
Psychologists call this confirmation bias—your mind looks for proof of whatever you already believe to be true. And so the cycle continues.
The Shift to Empowering Questions
But here’s the good news: the brain is not fixed. Thanks to neuroplasticity—its ability to rewire and form new connections—you can teach it to respond differently. One of the simplest ways to begin is by upgrading the questions you ask.
What’s one step I could take today that moves me toward my goals?
What positive difference could I make in someone’s life right now?
If I could do anything—what would I love to do?
Questions like these activate different neural pathways. Instead of keeping you stuck in survival mode, they spark curiosity, creativity, and possibility. Over time, asking better questions literally reshapes your brain toward more resourceful, solution-focused and positive thinking.
Your Turn
Even a small shift in your language can open a window where there used to be a wall. Every new question you ask is another chance to rewrite the story your brain is telling.
Reflection: Next time you notice yourself spiraling into “why me?” pause. Turn the question inward instead of outward and ask: What is this moment trying to show me? What can I do to change the outcome? This shift puts you back in the driver’s seat—you own the situation, the response, and the possibility of change.
Next Step: Ready to start asking yourself better questions? Explore more Insights or connect with me to begin reshaping the way you think, one powerful question at a time.